Today I stopped to watch a flotilla of Canada geese, and they watched me right back. "This is Facebird," I thought. "I'll quack out a status update." In fluent Donald Duck, vibrating spit and air in my left cheek, I told them they all looked equally beautiful. "How wonderfully egalitarian it would be," I quack-squawked, "if we humans could be so uniformly gorgeous!" I got a few "honk-likes" as I walked away.